Now that I think about it, Jaws was actually quite cuddly

This film is rated A for Awkwardness

Violence, nudity, language, adult themes, how about Parental Awkwardness. Movies should have a warning label that tell you if a film contains scenes that would make watching it with your parents very uncomfortable. Awhile back, my brother and I were watching A History of Violence with my mother. Watching sex scenes with your parents is just weird in general but this movie contains some seriously parentally awkward sex scenes.

FF to 5:00 for the entire scene; to 7:00 for the parental awkwardness.

FF to 6:00.

Viggo Mortensen redeemed himself in my eyes with Eastern Promises. Why? Because he got naked and showed his peen. Yeah there was shrinkage, but still, it totally makes up for that previous awkwardness.

Life's little gifts - a 2 for 1 special

Know what I found out today? That as you are giving birth you shit yourself. Out comes baby and a turd. WTF? I was already scared of giving birth, but now this. No one really tells you how horrible giving birth really is. When I was younger, a friend once told me about her episiotomy, and that alone was enough to swear me off of having kids. I need to find someone who will give me the honest truth about childbirth. I need to watch a real birthing video, unedited. Cause I'm pretty sure I never saw any shit on TLC's A Baby Story.

Where are the Hilarys?

These Air Force Ones were customized by Van. Check out his myspace to see some of his other work.

Oscar the Racist

Just another one of the reasons I think the Academy/the Oscar's are racist...





Update: Of course they apologized, once they were called on it.

typical whitey

As a black person, I loooove telling white jokes and now white people are horning in on my act. They've got blogs dedicated to making fun of themselves. Ain't that just like a white person, taking something black people created and calling it their own. Bastards!

stuff white people like

black people love us

I feel violated

It never fails. Every single time I go to a club I get molested by a creepy person. Twice this weekend alone. The first night a person licked my face. LICKED MY FACE! Who in the hell licks people's faces. It was all I could do to not throw my drink on my face to sterilize it. But I didn't, it was an expensive drink. Then last night, I was dancing with a guy for a few songs. He started to get too aggressive so I said bye and he thanked me for the dances and leaned in for a hug. So I hugged him and as we pulled away he turned his face and stuck his tongue in my mouth. VOMIT. Seriously, what the fuck is up with people's tongues and my face? I still feel dirty.

Happy Valentine's Day

My friend Annie has just sent me the best Valentine's Day card ever!

Go Yoda, it's your birthday...

Happy New Year...again

Since I've already broken my New Years Resolution twice, I've decided to start this year over, today. So Happy New Year!!!! Let's celebrate by remembering 2007 and all the interesting crap it entailed. I present you with a video.