It is almost time

Cheaters shouldn't prosper

Got Milk?

God Bless America

I am so glad I live in a time and place where people have the freedom and technology to voice their opinions about important matters.

Have you noticed...

Why do houses in tv shows always have a swinging door. I don't think I've ever been in a house with a swinging door. People are always getting hit by the door. Seems dangerous...

I gave in...

There I finally did it. I joined Facebook. I'm shocked at myself. Normally I am against all these sites: MySpace, Facebook, and who knows what else. I don't like the idea of people going to a website to look at pictures of me. Unless you're my parents you don't need your own private collection of pictures of me. Why did I join Facebook you ask. It was an impulse decision. I've been wondering what all the hoopla was about. Now I know.....nothing.

My account status: I have one friend, a few applications for friends pending. I am pitiful. Making friends in real life is hard enough, but applying to be someone's friend? What if they reject me? I'm not ready for this kind of internet dumping. I have no pictures so all thats under my name is a giant question mark, as if I'm not even a real person. No wonder no one wants to be my friend...

Complaining Ass People

What is wrong with people? The iPhone price has been cut from $599 to $399 and now people who bought it for $599 are upset. They are complaining about how they got gypped. I say, thats what your dumb ass gets. If you buy technology when it first comes out, of course its gonna cost more and have bugs in it. Thats what you get for being an early adopter. You should be like me and wait a while before purchasing, until the technology is old and nobody wants it, then its hella cheap. You know I just got a Super Nintendo. I bet you paid like $200 for yours. I got mines for $20. Beat that bitches!

-Signed, Saving up for a walkman

Krakatoa

Woohoo, or so I thought...

Ever since the advent of low rise pants, the world has been forced to stare at ass crack after ass crack. And initially one might think this could be a beautiful thing, but in reality, not everyone has a pretty ass crack.

Real cracks, can be crooked, ashy, and crusty, among other things. Its gotten so bad, people are making laws against all this crackage. But I digress. The point is ever since these pants were invented, I have had a hard time finding regular rise pants, unless you shop in the old lady department, and I sir, am not an old lady. So I have had to suffer, the purchasing of long t-shirts, making sure to sit in chairs with backs, strategically bending to tie my shoes (thank god for double knots). I have been living in fear that someone will see my crack at any moment. Which leads me to the present. I went to Old Navy after hearing they had regular rise pants [woohoo] BUT these lame-o pants start out as classic rise, and even with a belt, as you start walking, down they slide. I'm back to a low rise world.

I'm beginning to think its not the pants but my complete and utter lack of an ass. It makes sense scientifically. Jeans are heavy material and are kept in place by a belt and your buttocks. If, like me, your butt is flat, then the jeans have nothing to grip onto, and down they go, the belt only protects you from being pantsed. So, really my only choices are to either destroy gravity, get a butt augmentation, or suck it up and buy old lady jeans with an elastic waistband and tapered legs. Guess which one I'm going to pick...

Think you're smart? Prove it!

Remember how we were all traumatized by The Impossible Quiz? Well I've got something else for you. A bit of a brain teaser, but I promise, it is solvable, although I have yet to solve it. I'll post the answer as soon as I figure it out, I just refuse to cheat.

Good Luck my friends and I'm sorry for giving you a new addiction.

Everybody has to Cross the River [The River IQ Game]

Yes its in Japanese, but here are the instructions:

• Only 2 persons on the raft at a time
• The father can not stay with any of the daughters without their mother's presence
• The mother can not stay with any of the sons without their father's presence
• The thief (striped shirt) can not stay with any family member if the Policeman is not there
• Only the Father, the Mother and the Policeman know how to operate the raft

To start click on the big blue circle on the right.
To move the people click on them. To move the raft click on the pole on the opposite side of the river.

It begins...

UPDATE: Here is the answer. Highlight it to read it.

Remember this is one of 2 options. For the other answer switch the girls for the boys and Mom for Dad.

1. Cop & Thief
2. Cop
3. Cop & Girl 1
4. Cop & Thief
5. Mom & Girl 2
6. Mom
7. Mom & Dad
8. Dad
9. Cop & Thief
10. Mom
11. Dad & Mom
12. Dad
13. Dad & Son 1
14. Cop & Thief
15. Cop & Son 2
16. Cop
17. Cop & Thief

This makes me feel smart

Konichiwa bitches! I am back. Hope you had a good summer, I didn't. Grrr. I may tell you all about it, but thats a convo for another day. Today, we mock people. Like this dumdum here. Enjoy.

Grape Juice anyone?

So You Think You Can Dance

Well face it, you can't, but some people can. I've just started watching So You Think You Can Dance and I loooove it. These are my highlights from the last 2 episodes. Its a lot, but they are all awesome, some awesomely good, and some very, very bad. (I pity those people). Check 'em out. If you don't watch them all there are some definite must sees. Videos 1, 4 & 6!

The B-Boys, Pop-lockers & Robots

Video 1
Love this guy. Phillip Chbeeb. Never seen anything like this before.


Video 2
The ultimate robot. Can you believe he has MS. (FF to 3:00)



Video 3
Breakin'. I like his flips and spins. (FF to 2:15)



The Partners

Video 4
OMG I love them! They wowed me. (FF to 2:10)


Video 5
I liked it. Her legwork is hypnotizing (FF to 2:15 )



The Hilarious

Video 6
Umm is she for real


This show is awesome. You should be watching it.

Prostitution Ponderances

I'm wondering, what do street walkers in Alaska wear? I mean how do johns identify them? They can't be wearing short skirts and tube tops, its freezing out so how do you tell a hooker from a regular pedestrian. And it can't be something super-obvious, like a red "P" on your jacket, because you don't want to tip off the cops.

Test your knowledge

I missed 5! One was a state I had visited, thats a daggone shame. Let's see how well you do.

Name 50 states in 10 minutes. Good luck. And don't forget to tell me how many you get.

Update: Lailah, the modest genius, got all the states with a whopping 7 minutes and 39 seconds left. That definitely deserves an "isi". Congrats!

Its time for the ISIs

Okay folks its that time of year. Awards!!! I'm gonna issue the awards for the best of 2006.
And the isi goes to...

• Best new TV show - Ugly Betty
• the show is so funny, soap-opera-y and and just plain nice

• Best movie I wanted to see, but never did - Rocky Balboa
• I am a huge fan of all the Rockys, well 1-4 anyway, 5 is a disgrace. So I am really excited to see this new incarnation.
  

• Best TV show I never watched but swore I would because I heard it was good - Heroes
• I am going to watch this summer for sure.
  

• Best show I still watch but I don't really like anymore - Nip/Tuck
• I never thought I'd get tired of seeing men's naked butts, but I did.
  

• Best album to listen to while studying - Loreena McKennitt, Book of Secrets
• She is just awesome. check out The Highwayman
  

• Best deodorant - Dove
• Sweet-smelling, soft, and super funk-prevention, need I say more
  

• Ugliest vagina - Paris Hilton (Warning: link NSFW)
• Uh, it looks like a camel
  

• Grossest celeb moment- a 3 way tie between the cooch flashers: (Warning: NSFW) Paris - see above; Britney; Lindsay Lohan
• Just look, its self-explanatory
  

• Best celeb gossip blog - the superficial
• The writer of this blog is freakin'' hilarious. If I was to have a gossip blog it would be just like that.
  

• Best Material - Cotton, the fabric of our lives
• The superb feel, the fit, its magic
  

• Best Commercial - T-Mobile's "Secret Lovers"
  
  
• Weirdest shows I like - Squidbillies and Crayon Shin-Chan
• Talk about disturbing yet intriguing humor
  

• TV show you should be watching but probably aren't due to some oversight on your part - The Closer
• Her accent is reason enough to watch
  

• Oddest book - Running with Scissors
• Good book, yet I pity the author at the same time
  

• Best TV show I'm still watching after multiple seasons - The Shield
• Corrupt cops, guns, sex, violence, uh why aren't you watching?
  

• Best movie- I'm pretty sure I haven't been to the movies all year, its sad really. Actually wait, I saw The Good Shepherd. It didn't make an sense, and I didn't get it, so it doesn't count.
  

• Movie I'm most looking forward to seeing - 28 Weeks Later
• Too bad Cillian Murphy isn't in it, he is hot!
  

• Movie I don't want to see, but I will since everyone will be talking about it forever and I don't want to miss out on all the pop culture references - Spiderman 3.

Congratulations to all the winners. If you're not on the list, better luck next year. Try not to suck so bad next time!

People ≠ Crayons

How come its wrong to call Asian people "yellow" and Native Americans "red" but you can call Caucasians "white" and African-Americans "black"?

That's racist.

There is a reason you have a peephole

This is why I don't let strangers into my house.

Spank yo kids!

See this is why I don't like bad ass kids.

Casper is at it again

Dang, I know all these posts are about the library, but I can't help it, its where I'm living now.

I'm pretty much alone down here. A few people are scattered about but not really anyone within 20 or so feet of me, and yet I keep smelling farts. I keep checking around me, but no one is there. I know its not me, I think I'd notice if air kept escaping my butt. Whoever it is has some serious intestinal issues. That pungent odor just sneaks up my nostrils and punches me in the brain. Someone around here either has a super butt whose farts traverse the universe or there is a ghost who haunts the library at night, farting to torture students. I guess I should thank whoever it is cause I'm definitely not falling asleep anymore.

Marker mustache

If you want a beard, mustache, goatee or whatever, then you should grow one, not, I repeat NOT paint one on. And no painted on hairlines either.